


Star & Starcatcher

by julesby10



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Past Life AU, Romance, star set au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9803723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julesby10/pseuds/julesby10
Summary: Maki has feelings for a certain ginger, Rin is not sure of what she should feel. Because Maki is beautiful, she's just as beautiful as she remembers, but she can't tell her she remebers.





	

Her long fingers travelled with confidence on the ivory in front of her, her melody filling the silence of an empty school.

She wasn't afraid of making mistakes, even when there was no music sheet laid there for her to look at. She'd composed that piece, after all.

As the last note melted in the air, she noticed how much easier it was to control her hands, rather than her body as a whole. And the thought that was haunting her, the one she'd so desperately tried to suppress, came back to her.

The redhead sighed and reclined her head on her shoulders, briefly staring at the ceiling before closing her eyes in resignation.

She had half a mind of banging her head on the keyboard, but the rational part of her decided that was a good moment to interfere. That piano was the school's property, after all.

But, a stray thought whispered, her family did have enough money to repay it in case it ended up damaged.

She was almost giving into her frustration when a curious voice stopped her train of thought.

"Maki-chan?"

She didn't even have to open her eyes to know exactly whom that voice belonged to. 

"How come you're still here?"

The question was perplexed, laced with a pinch of concern.

Her expression softened and a faint smile graced her lips, but she didn't turn around.

"I could ask you the same question, Rin."

A laugh filled the room and Maki felt it wasn't all that different from music, maybe even better.

"Good point. I was going home, but I forgot my math textbook" she said as she shut the door behind her and took the few steps that separated her from Maki. "Your turn now."

Lilac eyes finally opened to be met with yellow ones, bright with mirth, and rosy lips parted in a toothy smile.

That, Maki thought, seemed to be Rin's default expression when they were together, and she still didn't have a clue about what caused it.  
The thought of her own presence being the reason was only the pianist's wishful thinking.

Despite that, her own grin widened the slightest bit before answering. 

"Taking my mind off of things, I guess" was the nearest statement to the truth she managed.

It actually could be taken as a half-truth, considering she really didn't want to think about the choreography she had yet to properly memorise. 

The ginger girl cocked her head to the side, asking for further explanations with her inquisitive gaze, but not once letting her smile falter.

Maki lost herself for a moment admiring the stars casually sitting there, as if her crush's pools of yellow were really the right place to be.

Realisation of just how close Rin's face was to her own hit her at the wrong time, though.

"I-It's nothing..." she sputtered, suddenly bashful and directing her gaze to the keyboard.

She damned herself for the heat creeping up her face, colouring her cheeks and ears in bright red, but either Rin failed to notice it or she ignored her friend's embarrassment altogether.

"Come on, penny for your thoughts?"

Her voice had lost the overly cheerful undertone, but it did not become demanding in any way. If Maki chose not to answer, Rin would drop the topic without hesitation.

She sighed for the umpteenth time that day and wondered again if taking out her frustration on the piano could really be that counterproductive.

"I mean, I know our next song by heart, but the steps don't really... you know, come as easily a-as the tune..." she mumbled, her eyes to her lap and a finger nervously twirling a strand of red hair.

Rin didn't even give her the chance to sulk about her own incapacity.

"Rin can help you with that, nya!" she reassured, her gentle features distending in a huge grin that showed her slightly sharper-than-average canines.

Maki glanced up at her with a wary expression. "Really? I don't want to bother you or-"

She was cut off by a pointer finger waving in front of her face in a scolding manner. The smile was still in its place, much to Maki's relief.

"You're never a bother, Maki-chan! I'm the one who always comes to you begging for help, so let me pay you back" she said, in a tone that didn't accept a no for an answer.

The redhead smiled and shook her head at her stubbornness, a softer shade of pink gracing her cheekbones.

"Thank you, Rin."

She nodded, her fists resting on her hips. 

"Could you play the song now? Just to refresh my memory a bit" she then added as she was untying the yellow ribbon around her neck.

Maki was caught by surprise. "Y-You want to practice now!? But it's late and classes have already ended a-and we're not in our work-out clothes-"

"Don't worry, nya!" Rin beamed while she wrestled out of her sleeveless cardigan and carelessly threw it on a nearby chair. "There's enough space!"

Maki almost choked on her own saliva when the other girl in the room started unbuttoning her skirt.

"W-Why are you undressing!?" she panicked. Finally her mouth had caught up to her mind, but her heart wasn't prepared to be alone in the same room as her half-naked crush.

To her relief Rin was wearing a pair of boy shorts underneath, but she seemed not to care about her exposed legs. Maki was a different story.

"I don't want to sweat in my uniform, this way I'll just have to wash the shirt" she absentmindedly answered, rolling up her sleeves. "You could do away with your sweater too, maybe?"

Maki looked at herself with a dumbfounded expression, her lips still parted in the motion of uttering some words her brain had now forgotten.

She shook her head and tried to chase away the urge of ogling at one of her best friends, in vain.

Staring at nothingness, she decided, could help her get rid of the excess blood that had gathered to her face. 

She undid her own tie slowly and obediently took off her dark sweater in much the same way, almost mechanically.

Maki was someone who got embarrassed very easily and the situation wasn't helping in the slightest. It took her more than one deep breath to steady her heartbeat and finally face Rin.

She was waiting patiently just a few feet away, fumbling with the hairpins keeping her hair out of her eyes. They had a matching pair - Rin's golden, hers bronze - and touching them was instinctive.

"Ready?"

It came out more like a squeak than anything, but still, it was something.

Rin's nod was her cue and the same melody that had filled the air minutes before breathed to life once again.

That was when Maki felt compelled to tear her eyes from the shiny black surface and direct her gaze towards Rin, who was now moving in perfect sync with the beat.

Her movements were fluid, seemingly effortless, and her body belonged to the music, as if she'd practiced that dance for her entire life.

Her hands were what caught the pianist's attention first, nimble fingers with short nails - almost in a boyish sort of way that was endearing, honestly.

Then her pale arms, just now beginning to glisten with sweat, but Maki's eyes inevitably wandered to Rin's petite chest and up to her exposed collarbone and slender neck.

Her smile, though, her smile was brighter than anything and her eyes were a close match.

Maki's hands itched for the camera that was sitting untouched in her bag.

And she felt hypnotised by her body and by her gentle features, painted in the orange glow of dying daylight.

If she had to name what she was feeling she would've called it love. But she was so scared.

Of her own emotions, of Rin's possible reaction, of other's opinions, her parents' opinion.

And yet, no one could intrude into that moment, no one could judge her - them - when they were alone, no one could take her star away.

And there, for the briefest of moments, Maki felt that was the place she belonged to, that, if those few minutes could last a lifetime, she could be happy.

Her daydreaming came to an end as soon as she hit the last key. She listened to the sound like she could grab it, put it in a jar together with her moments of happiness and treasure it forever. She wished.

"You said you had the melody down, didn't you?"

Ah, her voice too. Maybe that could fit in a jar too.

"I-I did."

Rin smiled and it was directed at the redhead, like many others before. It was a shame her feelings didn't match Maki's.

"Okay, then come here" she beckoned.

Maki hesitantly got to her feet, unsure her legs could hold her up properly, much less dance.

Then she took Rin's outstretched hand and felt a strange tingle at the back of her neck, "sense of deja-vu" might've been a fitting term for it.

She shook her head to chase away the heaviness creeping up her chest for no apparent reason, but Rin, oblivious to Maki's internal struggle, took her by the hips, causing the poor girl to yelp in surprise.

This time Maki was certain Rin had purposefully ignored her reaction, for she looked her in the eyes with the same unfaltering smile.

"Start here, I'll give you the tempo. Want me to sing too?"

Maki's words caught in her throat for a second as her brain decided to focus on Rin's hands, still pressed against her hips, and on the prospect of her singing just for her.

Her gaze to the floor - it seemed to be particularly interesting that day - Maki answered with the tiniest of voices and red creeping mockingly up her neck, reminding her just how much of a lost cause she was around the ginger girl.

"Y-Yes, please."

Don't stutter, for Christ's sake.

"It would be m-much easier for me." 

Damn it.

"As you wish!"

Rin took a breath and started singing and giving the rhythm with her hands, a beautiful a cappella that Maki wanted to record and listen to on a loop.

And her body forgot for a moment that she was under the scrutiny of yellow eyes and started moving by instinct.

She didn't even notice the song had ended. She had noticed the way Rin had looked at her when she was dancing, though, and it made her glad she'd agreed to all this.

As Maki was catching her breath Rin nodded, more to herself than anything, and gave her an approving pat on the shoulder.

"It's not bad, you just have to properly learn some steps here and there. Like the bit where Nozomi-senpai does this, you have to move behind with both Kayo-chin and Nico-chan, and then you do this and go to the front with me and Kotori-chan, okay?"

Maki nodded and followed Rin's every step and movement. She wouldn't have another chance like this, both to learn the choreography and quell her anxieties and to spend time alone with the ginger girl.

Not that she disliked being with everyone else, but the two of them alone together was a special combination.

The hands of the clock ticked by without either of them noticing, until it was dark outside and they needed any kind of artificial light to see a palm in front of them.

Both sweaty and tired, they rested for a few minutes on the piano seat, side by side and knees touching.

The moon was almost gone and the sky would be dark in a few days, closing the cycle just for it to restart again.

The little light that was there painted both their features with silver, strokes of an invisible brush that made each of them more beautiful in the other's eyes.

"Thank God you're a fast learner, otherwise we'd be here all night" Rin laughed, facing the ceiling, her hand almost brushing Maki's.

The only reply was a chuckle that made her smile.

Opening her eyes and looking towards the window, Rin noticed just how many stars were shining out there.

It was insane, she couldn't ask something like that.

She did anyway. "Do you want to go to the rooftop?"

Maki's violet eyes, still clearly visible in the dark, gave her a questioning gaze. "What for?"

Rin noticed how her friend's cheek were dusted with pink, maybe from the training, maybe from something else. She was noticing a lot of things.

A white grin flashed on her features. "Stargazing."

Three minutes later they were climbing the last flight of stairs leading to the rooftop's door, a blanket tucked under Rin's arm.

Maki's mouth had reacted before her brain could do anything to stop it, and she'd agreed. She would've done anything to spend more time with her.

The air that welcomed them was chilly, not enough to say it was cold. But Maki stopped caring about the weather as soon as she lifted her eyes and was met with the endless vault of the sky, littered with what could've easily been billions of stars, all seemingly white.

At a second glance everything became clearer and reds mixed with blues and the sky suddenly wasn't completely dark as before.

It must've been really late, because all the lights in the school and its vicinity were off and, despite the rest of the city being bathed in light, she managed to see so many little dots she couldn't believe it. She felt minuscule.

As Maki slowly worked out her amazement, Rin placed the red blanket on the tiled floor, admiring the redhead in a way she felt she shouldn't.

Her heart skipped a beat when lilac eyes turned to catch her staring, but she forced a smile to her lips, convincing the part of her that really was happy to take control over her anxieties.

They sat there, sides pressed together - whether that was intentional or not neither of them knew - and just looked at the dome above them, laughing when they found some strange shape in a pattern that had nothing regular to it.

Rin marvelled at Maki's extensive knowledge of stars, from how they formed to how they died - and some really died spectacularly, they were called supernovae and the remainders of the explosion could create a black hole or something Maki had called a neutron star.

Rin didn't understand the inherently scientific things, but the pianist was kind enough to put it simple.

They talked about constellations and how ancient populations must've had a really bright imagination to find all those shapes. It was endearing, because it showed just how much mankind tried to find himself in a place he could never fully understand.

Maki felt brave, at an unidentified point in time, and placed her hand on Rin's freezing one, shared her scarf, even if their cheeks were almost touching.

For many minutes, it felt like heaven on earth, happiness frozen in a precise moment in time, without anything that could shatter their peace.

And they were both feeling the same, their hearts beating in sync, violet eyes forced to stare at the sky and yellow ones occasionally glancing towards pale features, just to turn away in embarrassment.

Melancholic was the word Rin would've used to describe how she felt when she looked at Maki - her fiery red hair, her plump lips, her sharp eyes, her slender neck, she could go on forever. They were all so familiar, yet so different from what she remembered.

"Rin?"

Her train of thought derailed and she blinked at her friend, only now hearing her own name. It was beautiful when pronounced by Maki.

"Y-Yeah?" she stuttered.

Maki's features were scrunched up in concern, her brow furrowed and her mouth downturned.

"You're shaking."

Rin opened her mouth to retort something - she wasn't shaking - but then she took note of the shivers erupting from her chest, that made her teeth chatter and goosebumps rise on her skin.

"Rin!?"

She still hadn't given any response and Maki's tone was verging on frantic. How weak could she be if a memory was enough to break her like that?

Rin didn't think, not just then, and buried her face in Maki's neck, arms circling her waist.

Maki was stunned by the gesture and her heart sped up so suddenly she thought she'd have a heart attack. She was still very concerned about Rin's wellbeing, but now she was starting to fear for her own health too.

"Rin!?"

It came out as a strangled cry and the pianist damned herself and the voice she seemed incapable of controlling.

Then came Rin's answer, but her voice was so small, so fragile, so broken that anything regarding herself slipped away like water.

"I'm... cold. Can we go home?"

Maki nodded without missing a beat and engulfed the ginger girl in her embrace.

All the while she was folding the blanket and going down the stairs, Maki kept close to Rin, who had her scarf around her shoulders and was hugging herself.

Seeing her usual cheerfulness so dulled made her heart ache and the air heavier to breathe. She couldn't do anything for her, despite the the love she felt.

It wasn't just the cold, Maki knew it.

Rin's eyes were starting to redden and the only plausible explanation was that she was holding back tears. Why, Maki didn't know.

She only knew that Rin was unable to look her in the eye, and every time she tried the ginger girl lowered her gaze to the floor.

The pianist took that as a sign to not ask any questions.

Rin was aware that she was probably giving Maki the emotional equivalent of hitting her with a baseball bat right on her nape, but she didn't have a choice, she just couldn't tell.

On their way back the tension had lessened a bit, though it was still palpable in the silence that rested between them.

Maki kept her back straight and her gaze forward, Rin had her nose stuck up in the air, watching the stars.

The pianist didn't dare talk, in fear of breaking that momentary peace, so she just walked mechanically, one step after the other, thinking about something that wasn't the two of them side to side.

She had purposefully taken the way to Rin's home, even if it was further from the school than her own, and Rin hadn't opposed that decision, strangely enough.

The ginger girl was gallant by nature, though you really couldn't tell at first glance, and she usually wanted to walk her friends home, even if that meant she had to double the length of her own way home. 

"So-" "Okay-"

Silence came to stay with them once again, as they both lowered their gaze to the ground.

"I wanted to-" "I though I-"

Maki sighed. This situation was so cliché.

Seeing that Rin wasn't doing anything other than being uncomfortable, she spoke first.

"You go first, what I have to say is really not that important."

Rin tentatively lifted her head, but almost immediately dropped it again.

"I wanted to apologise. It was... not nice of me to give you the silence treatment. I'm just not feeling well and I'm tired. I'm not a good person when I'm tired. I'm sorry."

Frantically rubbing up and down her arm wasn't a sign of easiness, but Maki would've forgiven her anything, if that was what she was worrying about. She was just concerned, not mad. 

"I thought something was bothering you" and Maki felt the familiar voice in her head say it was her and her alone. She doesn't want to stay with you. "I was worried. You don't have to apologise."

She wasn't great with words, but Rin noticed the veiled apology in that sentence. She forced her hand to stop and lifted her gaze to meet lilac. There still were lines of concern around those beautiful irises that reminded her of a galaxy.

"You don't have to worry, really, a night of good sleep will probably fix me."

There's nothing wrong with you.

How come Maki's voices were so kind with Rin but so cruel with herself?

Because you love her.

Rin's smile was a bit tight, but it was a huge improvement from the previous silence.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone when you're tired, make sure to go to bed as soon as possible, okay?"

Maki was forgiving her, but at the same time Rin didn't want to be alone. Even when the pianist was the trigger of every single memory that corroded her heart, it was easier to deal with the pain when she was there. Her presence was a double edged sword to Rin.

Before the awkward silence could settle again, the ginger girl stepped forward and stood on her toes to kiss Maki on the cheek, so nearly missing her lips.

Maki instantly flared up and her whole body went into shutdown mode.

"Goodnight then, Maki-chan."

As much as she wanted to reciprocate the gesture she couldn't bring herself to speak. She just waved her goodbye dumbly as Rin opened the gate to her home and then stepped over the threshold. When she looked back for the last time she was smiling, pink dusting her cheeks, several shades lighter than Maki's current colour.

When the door clicked shut the air left her lungs all at once and she slid a hand on her face to calm down. Her fingertips burned when they brushed on the place Rin had kissed.

She started walking with the scent of Rin's skin in her nostrils and her heart pounding.

At the same time, Rin herself lay motionless with her back to the entrance door. She seemed rooted to the spot.

With a broken whimper she collapsed to the ground and clutched her knees to her chest, breathing in Maki's scent that still clung to her scarf.

She didn't know if the burning in her throat was because of that or because she wanted to cry for the rest of her days. She lost count of how many moments passed like that.

When Maki set foot in her family's mansion she didn't bother with carefulness. Her parents' bedroom was on the other side of the house, they wouldn't hear a thing.

She barely found the strength to strip down and take a bath, before collapsing hopelessly on her bed.  
She was as tired as she was happy.

The white shirt she'd wore was sitting menacingly on top of her laundry basket, begging to be washed.

She turned around and buried her face in the pillow.

~•••~

Maki opened her eyes to be met with blinding sunlight right in her face, coming through a gap in the curtains.

With a groan of disapproval she turned around and tried to resume her sleep, nestling once again in the warmth of her covers.

As she was slipping into unconsciousness, a knock on the door shattered her dreams of further rest and made her eyes shot open in surprise. Muffled words followed soon after.

"Milady, it's time to wake up."

She recognised Sophie's high-pitched voice and rolled her eyes, unseen. She was one of her mother's maids, but she acted more like her own.

"May I come in, Milady?"

Maki sighed and answered without bothering to hide her annoyance.

"Yes, Sophie."

The thick mahogany door opened with a squeak - seriously, she had to ask to the housekeeper to call the locksmith, it was getting annoying - and a familiar white headpiece appeared, followed by a head of dark hair held up in a tight bun.

The maid bowed respectfully and waited by the door, still as stone.

Maki admired her strictness, in a way, but her eyes were too cold for someone her age. Then again, many people had said the same thing about hers.

With a sigh she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stretched, feeling her muscles begin to work again.

"Could you please properly open the curtains, Sophie?"

Her voice was still hoarse from sleep and her eyelids were still weaved with dreams, but as long as she could give orders she'd be fine. 

"Yes Milady."

With another curt bow and the clicking of low heels on wooden boards she motioned to do as she was told.

Light flooded the room and Maki dreaded the maid's next words.

"Would you like if I helped you wash and get dressed, Milady? Your mother is waiting for you in the breakfast room."

Maki only nodded before fully climbing off the bed and shedding her silk nightgown. Embarrassment had left her long ago, even when modesty had stayed, and this was daily routine. It bothered her that she wouldn't be prepared by who she wanted.

Sophie, who had disappeared for a few seconds into the adjacent bathroom, reappeared carrying a large bucket of hot water from the boiler, a jug and a towel.

Maki stepped into the metal container as soon as it was on the ground and washed herself with the help of the other girl, who was pouring water from above thanks to the aforementioned jug.

When satisfied, Maki asked for the towel and moved over to the screen where her clothes had been readied beforehand.

"Would you mind giving me help with my corset?"

She knew well that Sophie already knew what to do, but it seemed more polite to ask.

A nod was her response as she took the corset and appropriate underwear in one hand and the used towel in the other, to bring it to the laundry room later.

When the maid was starting to lace up the garment, a question popped in Maki's mind.

"Sophie, how is Andromeda?"

Her voice was, if possible, even colder.

"She's recovering from the fever, Milady, I heard she's feeling a lot better thanks to your father prescriptions" she said.

Her next words answered Maki's unspoken question. "She's in the maids' quarters if you want to pay her a visit."

"Thank you Sophie."

After that no more words were exchanged between the two, what with Maki being too busy trying not to suffocate right then and there.

She had grown accustomed to Andromeda's gentle hands, that always left the corset a tad looser than they should have. She'd been grateful for that.

Sadly, Sophie wasn't as thoughtful and had laced the corset terribly tight, compressing her ribcage and all that was beneath

Maki had been forced to grip the desk placed against the wall to get some sort of support and not being manhandled by Sophie's strict hands.

When they were finally done with torture, - Maki swore she could never get used to that cilice, even after wearing it everyday for many years - the actual dress was easily slipped over her head and then her whole body, until it reached her ankles.

The last step was styling her hair, but Maki decided a pin to keep stray locks out of her eyes would be just enough.

Sophie then took her leave with a last bow and left her alone with her own thoughts.

The ghost of her mother waiting downstairs still haunted her, but she took her time nonetheless.

It was soothing the way her shoes hit the carpeted floor, rhythmically and constantly, paired with the sounds coming from the outside. So much light came in thanks to the huge windows that Maki itched for a walk in the garden, even though she knew its ways by heart.

But there was a sense of heaviness, subtle and creeping its way up her spine, between her ribs, aiming for her heart. It wasn't because of the lack of sleep, as it sometimes was, nor it was because of a dreaded event coming up later that day.

It was just the feeling of something being out of place, plain and simple, that made her wonder what exactly she had forgotten.

It felt like the beautiful mansion she was in was not where she belonged, like she was out of place and, oddly enough, out of time.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feeling of helplessness, but clearing her mind turned out to be more difficult than she expected.

She came to a brief halt in front of a carved wooden doorway and she couldn't do anything but switch all her thoughts with etiquette.

"Good morning mother" she spoke with an even voice.

"Good morning Maki dearest" she nodded in acknowledgment. "How has your night been? Plenty of rest, I assume?"

"It was, thanks for asking mother. I hope yours was much the same."

She gracefully sat at the table where part of her breakfast was already prepared. Her mother took her time sipping from her cup of tea before answering.

"I was worried for your father, but I managed to get as much sleep as was necessary."

There was a smile curving her mouth, but the dark circles under her eyes told Maki another story. She'd been crying again.

"Was he out late at night again?" she asked with a frown.

Her mother nodded and the lightest of sighs travelled past her lips.

"He was at court, again."

Maki noticed the evident signs of her mother's sadness: the way her eyes had dulled, how she didn't talk more than strictly necessary, how she hadn't touched a single thing on her plate.

Maki was both dumbfounded and angry. "Again? But why do they have to call him so often? “It's not fai-"

"You know Her Royal Highness is sick. She needs your father cares."

Her tone of voice was hard and did not admit any sort of reply, but Maki had always been immune to veiled orders. Even the piercing violet eyes staring right back at her were not enough to deter her.

"I don't care if she needs him! We need him too! We're his family and he's never here because of the royals!"

She had accidentally raised her voice, so much that a maid appeared at the door to see what all the commotion was about. As soon as she felt the tension, though, she went back on her steps.

A wave of guilt washed over Maki when she saw the hint of sadness in her mother's eyes, but it was soon replaced by shame when the reply came.

"Don't you dare talk about Her Royal Highness with that voice, miss, she's the one you'll be working for in the future and you ought to be more than a little grateful for that" she said, words as sharp as daggers. "And don't address your father that way either, he's doing this for us and the wealth you're so accustomed to is his doing. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him being the court herbalist."

Maki bit her tongue in order to avoid further conflict and lowered her eyes to her red dress. But she didn't stop being mad.

She could see her father maybe three times per week if she was lucky enough. He resembled a ghost by day, here a moment and not there anymore immediately after, and was impossible to find at night. 

"Think about your words" was her mother's parting gift as she got up, wood scraping on marble, and left the room with the clicking of her heels following.

The room was so big the sound left a sense of emptiness in Maki's chest.

And there went all her efforts to chase away the heaviness.

She gripped a fistful of her skirt and, jaw set, she motioned to get up too.

She hadn't touched a single thing on her plate, just like her mother.

They were shockingly similar in that aspect.

She ignored everyone who tried to approach her, wanting to see the only person in the whole mansion who could calm her down.

The maids' quarters were not far from the common rooms, just a tad lower than ground level, and she knew the way by heart, every step and every speck of dust that lined the hallways. Sneaking out to play as a child had given its fruits.

Maki exchanged a nod with one of the younger maids, who gave a small smile in return. Her eyes told her she knew exactly what she'd gone there for.

Knocking lightly on one of the many similar doors, she heard a bit of shuffling and then the muffled answer.

"Yes, it is open."

Stepping in, she noticed the guise of the only occupant, a mass of blond hair peeking from under the covers, and she couldn't help but chuckle.

The girl was reading a book and still had not raised her face from the pages.

"How are you?"

Her head jerked up and deep blue eyes shot open at the voice, panic crossing Andromeda's features.

"I-Milady I'm terribly sorry-"

"Don't worry Andromeda. You should know me well enough to know I don't really care about formalities" was the calm reply as Maki sat on a chair juxtaposed next to the bed.

Maki's words managed to quell the girl's anxieties, but she sat up nonetheless to show her mistress she still respected her.

"I'm fine Milady, thank you for preoccupying yourself with my health" she sighed.

"I'm just glad to know you're recovering" Maki smiled and pink dusted Andromeda's cheeks.

She lowered her gaze for a second. "It's all thanks to your father. I couldn't ever begin to repay his kindness..."

Maki took her hand with both of hers, gently, and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I can assure you that this" she said gesturing to the girl before her and the little bottle of medicine sitting on the small nightstand. "Is his way of thanking you for your service. You're even, no debt with our family whatsoever."

Andromeda nodded and, if her lips weren't showing her smile, her eyes told Maki everything she needed to know.

She sighed and slid a hand over her face, feeling the previous anger melt like snow in the sun.

"Is something the matter Milady?"

Andromeda's voice vas soft and concerned and Maki couldn't help compare it to her mother's cold sentences.

"I made mother angry with rash words… it wasn't a great topic to approach over breakfast, I'm afraid."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

It felt like an adult was trying to comfort a child and Maki felt exactly that, a child.

She shook her head, more to herself than anything. "It's not a matter of importance, Andromeda, don't burden yourself with the concern."

"As you wish Milady."

A knock on the door made them both turn. Andromeda looked at Maki for her consent and she nodded. It was her room after all, Maki had no power on who came in and who didn't.

"Andy- Oh! I'm mortified for interrupting Milady."

It was Sophie, a glass of water in her hand meant to help the blond girl with the the medication.

Maki swore she'd seen a smile on Sophie's face before she'd bowed to her, but it was just a flash and, if it had really been there, it had disappeared as fast as it had come.

She raised herself from the chair, sneaking a glance to a very flustered Andromeda. Oh well.

"Don't worry Sophie, I was planning on going to the garden anyway. This way I'll be sure to leave her in competent hands" she said. "Please, take care" she added, turning to Andromeda with a warm smile.

"I will, Milady, thank you for visiting" she replied with silent happiness.

Maki took her leave and the girls' cheerful words filled the air as soon as she'd closed the door.

It was always nice to see the maids be so supportive of each other, no rivalries involved and no drama to disrupt the peace of the house.

Sighing, she took the stairs leading to the garden.

\--

Really, time had been exceptionally reluctant to pass. The piano lesson, the private session with her tutor, the umpteenth etiquette 'advice'.

It was like swimming in mercury, dense and viscous, but most of all, dangerous.

She counted the steps separating her from her room, the smell of medical herbs still clinging to her skin and the back of her hands sore because of too harsh leather.

Her chest hurt, like something ugly was trapped between her ribs and was clawing at her lungs to get out.  
Maybe that was the reason her breath was ragged as she burst the door open and swiftly locked it behind her back.

The couple seconds it took her to reach the piano sitting in the corner were an agonising eternity where her blood turned to ice and her limbs became stone.

The cacophony of sounds created by her arms hitting multiple keys almost sounded comforting, decidedly better than the booming silence in her head.

She knew that playing the piano could calm her down, just like Andromeda's presence, but her hands were hurting so much, heart pounding there too now.

The smallest whimper slipped past her lips, but she didn't want to cry. Not just for some insignificant problems such as hers.

But everyone's words were bouncing in her head, from her mother's to her tutors'.

Selfish, useless, incompetent.

She had to do a lot of work to steady herself, take back her composure and open her eyes.

The sun had set in the meantime, leaving her room coated in velvety shadows, tones of red and orange tinging the environment.

She didn't want to interact with anything that wasn't her bed, but she needed to call Sophie so that she could the off her corset. So she reluctantly asked for her to the first maid she caught in the hallway.

If her expression was anything to go by, Maki wasn't looking good.

The hands of the old clock in the corner ticked by as Sophie got in, did her job and got out, leaving her in her nightgown and with the question of why she didn't ask about her wounds. She'd only bandaged them.

She sighed for the umpteenth time that day and opened the glass door to the balcony. A gust of wind made the silk around her legs flutter, reminding her Autumn was nearer every day.

It was chilly outside, especially after sundown, orange, brown and red were chasing away green from the treetops and animals had begun gathering food for the winter.

She looked up at the sky, grateful it was a clear night for once.

Darkness, dotted with millions of tiny lights, was mesmerising and the Milky Way illuminated the sky the way only stars could.

It was when she was searching for whatever constellation that she caught a shooting star in her peripheral vision.

Many wishes came to mind: for her father to be more present, for her life to be about music, for Andromeda to get better, for her mother to stop worrying so much.

She didn't have time to express one though, because she suddenly felt a weight push her to the ground with bone shattering force.

The fact that she'd hit her head on the tiled floor didn't help her understand what had happened, and the sounds coming from above were more confusing than anything. It sounded like someone groaning.

When she opened her eyes she found herself facing a pair of bright yellow irises that shined like the stars she'd been admiring.

She couldn't help stare at the delicate features framing those eyes, thin pink lips, a small nose and stray locks of ginger hair tickling her cheeks.

This person was close, too close.

With heat creeping up her neck Maki tried to avert her eyes from the stranger, but stayed put under her weight.

"Are-Are you going to get off of me?" she managed after a few seconds.

The stranger blinked, perplexed, then, when realisation hit her, she hastily got up, cheeks pink.

She offered her hand to Maki with an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, are you hurt?"

The pianist shook her head and got up on her own.

"Who are you?" she asked as soon as she was face to face with the stranger. She was slightly shorter than she was and saying her way of dressing was peculiar was an euphemism.

The majority of her outfit consisted of blue fabric that seemed to replicate the pattern of a night's sky full of stars, with accents of white and gold. Accessories didn't lack, seeing how she was wearing a golden brooch on her chest and several other chains, ribbons and similar items on her calves, thighs and midsection.

The girl bent forward to retrieve her beret, dusting it off and laying it on her chest before bowing.

"My name is Rin, I'm a shooting star from the Scorpio constellation. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Maki blinked. There was no way this Rin girl was telling the truth.

How could she possibly be a star? Was Maki dreaming? Or hallucinating maybe?

But the warmth of the girl was real and she had felt her weight.

"And why would you be here?"

Rin smiled brightly. "Because you were trying to make a wish! I'll be here until you express that wish!"

Maki was speechless. The whole situation was just way too absurd and she couldn't take it all in at once.

Her eyes fell on the cape the ginger girl had draped around her shoulders and it really looked like she was wearing stars.

"What if I made that wish right now?"

Rin's smile faltered for a second as she averted her eyes from Maki and put her beret back in place. It suited her.

"I-I'd disappear. Shooting stars disappear the instant the wish of the chosen is made."

Maki's heart skipped a beat. She didn't want this strange girl to vanish, despite having met her three minutes before, but she sensed there wasn't much time left. For what exactly, she didn't know.

"I still don't know what to wish for so... I mean, you-you'll stay?"

Why would you ask that? Why would you trust her?

Rin visibly blushed, a small smile curving her lips. "Yes, for as long as you will allow me to."

Maki lowered her gaze with warmth in her chest.

Autumn was still near, but the chill wasn't there anymore.

\--

After that night they met everyday.

It was always after sundown. Rin appeared and went with Venus, first 'star' in the evening and first in the morning.

Their approach was hesitant at first, but they gradually opened up to each other.

Maki told her story to Rin - and managed to dissuade her from using 'Milady' when addressing her. It was nice to be called by her name for once - and Rin reciprocated with tales from space.

Each of them was left speechless and wondering just how their relationship could be. Rin gave somewhat of an answer to that question, a sentence bashfully thrown into the conversation.

"Is there a way you stars chose whose wish needs to be granted?"

Maki was sitting on the edge of her bed, brushing her hair, and Rin was calmly perched on the piano.

"Ah-Eh, well..." she started, scratching the back of her neck. "We kind of fall whe-when... We fall... In love with... The person trying to make a wish..."

Maki stopped her ministrations and took her time to observe the ginger girl.

Her head was lowered, hair covering her face, and her hands were fiddling with the ornaments around her wrists. Maki didn't need to hear anything else to know what to do.

"So that means... You are in love with me?"

She had to admit that statement had left her a tad surprised, but she had been more happy than anything else.

A nod was all the response she received for the time being. She smiled at the sudden shyness of her companion, usually so cheerful and expressive and prone to talking.

Rin was so preoccupied with herself that she didn't hear Maki's steps as she was approaching.

She jumped up when gentle fingers cupped both her cheeks and lifted her head, but immediately relaxed into their warmth.

"You have nothing, and I say nothing, to be ashamed about."

The redhead's violet eyes were as sweet as her voice, telling her she was telling nothing but the truth.

Rin put her hand on Maki's and leaned into the touch, eyes closing.

She smiled, pink lips stretching to reveal pearly white teeth.

"Isn't it strange? For me to be in love with you?"

"Why would it be? You're a star, you can do whatever you want, you could've gone wherever you wanted. I'm just glad this happened to me, I'm happy you happened to me."

Maki let herself be held in Rin's strong embrace, face on her stomach and arms circling her waist. Oh her heart was beating so fast.

She was so close to a being that had nothing human except her appearance, it almost scared her. There wasn't a heart beating inside a ribcage and pumping blood in her veins, there weren't bones and muscles allowing her to move, no vocal chords to let her speak. Her existence should've been impossible.

And yet. There was warmth in her touch, motion in the entirety of her body but, above all, there was life in her eyes.

Those pools of yellow shone like the star she was and her skin was woven with stardust.

"Thank you."

Maki lifted her head to look at Rin's features.

"Mh? What for?"

She shrugged with a lopsided grin and crinkles by her eyes. "For wanting me to stay with you."

Maki giggled, in embarrassment and endearment, and got on her toes to reach Rin's lips.

Just then it felt like someone had poured sand down her throat and into her lungs and she started coughing violently.

Rin swiftly jumped down from her spot and allowed Maki to lean on her as she bent almost in half.

Every cough shook her body like an earthquake and the ginger girl was at loss as to what to do. She felt so powerless.

It was agony to watch and being able to do absolutely nothing to help.

Maki, on the other end, could only panic while her body revolted against itself. She was afraid she'd forgotten how to breath altogether.

When the spasms ceased she felt all her strength leave her body and she collapsed in Rin's arms, chest heaving.

"A-Are you okay?"

Maki nodded weakly in response, still too breathless to actually answer. Rin's voice was laced with concern.

Chest and lungs hurting, Maki lifted herself up, using her companion as support.

"W-Water..." she rasped.

Rin motioned for the jug of water on the nightstand, but Maki's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

Looking at her eyes and the tears they were brimmed with, she knew she didn't want her to go.

So she smiled and lifted the girl off the ground in a swift movement, holding her to her chest.

Maki was undoubtedly taller, but right then and there she was feeling incredibly small. She flushed pink when her eyes met Rin's.

While being carried, laid on the bed and given water, Maki wanted Rin to stay. The more time they spent together, the less either of them was willing to let go.

"Can you stay here... tonight?"

The ginger girl glanced at her, just to lower her gaze again and smile.

"Gladly."

So Maki observed as she unclipped her cape, took off her beret, boots, cuffs, chains and brooch and climbed on the bed.

The last thing Maki saw before falling asleep were Rin's eyes, as bright as ever.

\--

If she had thought that episode to be a one time thing, she was very, very wrong.

The coughing fits continued for a week and then another, each time stronger and more painful.

Rin was by her side at night, holding her and keeping her warm during her restless sleep.

Andromeda came to her aide during the day, armed with a lot of willpower and a napkin covering her mouth. She had just recovered from a fever. 

It was at dusk, when Rin was already on the balcony, patiently waiting for the maid to leave.

Maki felt the usual itch that announced a fit and rolled her eyes. It was getting annoying.

But this time there was something different: her chest was tighter, her lungs burned more than usual and a strange taste sat at the back of her throat.

Her hand shot up to cover her mouth. With the corner of her eye she saw Andromeda look in her direction with concern lining her features.

She finally sighed when the seemingly endless spasms subsided, but one look at her hand was enough to make her breath catch in her throat.

She started shaking as she took notice of the blood dripping from her palm onto the pristine sheets.

Andromeda screamed something about getting help, but Maki wasn't paying attention, too mesmerised by the colour to actually hear.

As soon as the maid was out of the door Rin was by her side, holding her clean hand for dear life.

She was just as shocked, if not more. She hadn't known the meaning of the word illness until that point.

Illness was losing scary amounts of weight because of an inexistent appetite, illness was having chills when the sun shone bright outside, illness was having nightmares because of a high fever and waking up in a puddle of your own sweat, illness was being unable to go up the stairs without someone's help.

Rin then looked at her, looked at the girl she had fell in love with mere months before. Really looked.

She was pale, her alabaster skin in contrast with the fiery red of her hair; her eyes were still beautiful, but much more dull than what she remembered; her lips were dry, tinged with crimson blood.

And she was tired. It shown and it hurt to see it. Just how much could a person be corroded by something so subtle and yet so destructive?

"Maki."

There was no response to her call.

"Maki, please."

Now she was pleading, the fear of losing her nestling itself at the base of her spine.

Maki stopped staring at her bloody hand and fixed her gaze in Rin's eyes. 

"Now I know what that feeling was" she whispered. Her voice was raspy.

She smiled. "I don't have much time left, after all."

Bitter, bitter, bitter.

Before Rin could give an answer, she heard multiple people approaching the door, steps quick and voices frantic.

So she bent to give Maki a kiss on the crown of her hair, smelling medical herbs once again, and hid on the balcony for the second time.

She waited. In theory it shouldn't have been much time. Compared to how long stars lived, the human conception of time and space meant nothing.

And yet she was feeling every single second crawl down her skin, agonisingly slow. The many voices in the room overlapped and she couldn't keep up with them. She tried, but she couldn't.

So she opted to stare at the sky for the longest time, back to the wall and knees to her chest. Waiting.

Hours passed before she heard the click of the door shutting.

And slipping silently into the room for fear Maki had fallen asleep, she found her in the exact same position. The blood just wasn't there anymore.

"You have to rest Maki, let's got to sleep."

Even those simple words hurt, they tasted like sand in her throat.

They both went on with their nightly routine and only when she was under the covers, holding her hand, Rin calmed down a bit.

Maki's heart was still beating strongly under the thin veil of skin and warmth was cursing through her body.

There was something hauntingly beautiful in her slightly parted lips, in the way she avoided taking deep breaths in fear of another fit.

"They said it's the White Plague."

A pause.

"Andromeda said she still wants to take care of me, that girl is too good for this world."

Maki's smile was so, so bitter. She raised her gaze to look into wells of yellow that, she was sure, knew a lot more than they let on.

"I-I don't want to die, Rin."

She couldn't say anything in response, as far away from death as she was, as safe as she was.

So she just held Maki to her chest, tightly but gently, as if she were the most fragile thing to ever step on this earth.

She felt her ribs under her nightgown, her small waist and then her hipbones. She had become so small.

She heard her cry, sob, plead, she saw her tremble, try to put up a resistance. Never once did Maki try to blame her, and Rin was grateful for that.

They stayed like that for many, many moments, until Maki finally fell asleep and stopped suffering for the time being.

Rin couldn't decide where to let her eyes wander, trying so desperately to remember every detail, every inch of her.

And for the first time, on that night that felt nothing short of surreal, Rin felt the warmth of tears stream down her cheeks, as the feeling of loss dripped from her heart even though nothing had happened, not yet.

She never did close her eyes until morning, drinking in Maki's presence and watching over her with concern on her fingertips.

\--

Days passed and Maki was withering in her arms.

She'd become so weak she couldn't even climb down from the bed without help and Andromeda was with her all day long.

Despite all the cares from her father she wasn't getting any better.

The maids came to visit her from time to time, handkerchief on their mouth, but most of them had red eyes. Even Sophie.

And not Rin nor Maki could ignore the soft sobbing they heard from outside the door when the girls took their leave.

On the other end their time together was coated with silence, silence that allowed them to express through gestures instead of words.

Because what good are words when they can only remind you of how little time you have left?

Sometimes Maki cried. When she looked at the piano mocking her from the corner she missed being able to play. Despite how hard her lessons usually were, despite the healing scars on the back of her hands, she would've liked to play, it would've helped.

Sometimes Rin cried. When Maki was asleep and she could only revel in her inability to help she broke down and put the pieces back up again before morning. Despite the burning desire to have more time, despite all the love she felt, she could only hug her and pray, hoping someone was listening.

Sometimes she sang. Nothing in particular, just a lullaby she thought she'd forgotten.

She sang Maki to sleep with words that were too true and with her voice almost cracking.

Her hands and eyes couldn't get enough of her: she stroked her hair, caressed her cheeks, engulfed her in her arms with the knowledge she'd disappear, sooner or later.

Maki was pretty much the same. Clinging to Rin's warmth and constantly staring to try and remember her.

And while Rin stayed unaltered, her skin smooth, her grip strong and her eyes bright, the illness was soon changing Maki's features.

She was paler every day, thinner, and she was constantly trembling, as if she were always cold.

Rin felt completely and utterly useless, powerless to stop the hideous monster that was eating away her love.

And despite her will to fight it, Maki could do nothing to the beast, never harm it in any way. Now she was just waiting to witness her own downfall.

It came, in the end. The curtain closed on her story and Rin felt it in her bones before it happened.

~•••~ 

When Maki walked to school that day she felt weird.

She couldn't exactly place the feeling, like she was forgetting something.

The dream she had was hazy and confused and the only clear thing were Rin's eyes, those she remembered.

Bright and caring and warm, so willing to protect her even to the point of sacrificing herself.

She was abruptly taken back to reality when a car honked at her and she had to jump back on the sidewalk.

She sighed.

Christ, get a grip.

She did, or at least she tried. It went pretty well, neither Hanayo nor Rin seemed to pick up on her thoughts, but she cursed herself every time she exchanged glances with the ginger girl.

She wanted to kiss her even more than before.

Lessons eventually ended and Maki sheltered herself in the music room once again, casting preoccupied glances to the door every now and then.

What if she told Rin? It wasn't that strange to dream about your friends, right?

But she's more than a friend.

She sighed. Could she really hide her feelings while recounting just how much her heart swelled at the thought of being so close to Rin?

As she was battling with conflicting intents, a knock came from the door and a head of ginger hair followed.

"Maki-chan?" the girl began, stepping in and closing the door behind her. "You're here again."

"Mh."

There wasn't really much to say. Neither of them knew how to deal with the other.

Rin inhaled deeply and closed her hands in fists to try and stop the trembling in her body.

Maki was so, so beautiful, sitting in front of the piano, slender fingers still ghosting over the keys, eyes cast sideways, paying attention but not looking.

"I-"

What exactly was she going to say now that she was here? She didn't want to confess, so what was she going to say?

"I dreamt about you last night."

Rin's words died on her lips at that sentence and tears began to burn the back of her eyes, in a way that was a tad too familiar. She dreamt about Maki all the times.

What are you gonna do now, miss 'I dreamt about my crush but I won't tell her'?

Maki panicked for a second as Rin expression stayed neutral. Then she broke into a smile. "Really?"

Rin hoped the way she had fisted her skirt in a nervous manner went unnoticed.

It did, partly. Maki was conscious this was not one of their usual conversations. They were awkward, stiff, secretive even.

"Yeah, it was like you and I were from another time- like, nineteenth century, and you were a... star? I-I'm not really sure and I know it's stupid so you can ignore what I just said. Yep."

She lowered her head self-consciously, stopping the clutter of words coming out of her mouth.

You were a star and you loved me.

Every single one of that words had pulled several of Rin's heartstrings at a time. She clearly remembered the first time they'd met, about a century before, in another life.

I still don't know what to wish for so... I mean, you-you'll stay?"

"Yes, for as long as you will allow me to."

And she'd stayed until the very end, when nothing could go against time or death.

Rin's breathing had become almost ragged, trying to take in everything, from Maki's words to the memories that were never going to fade rushing back to her.

"...So you do remember..."

It was barely a whisper, a breath, but Maki heard it nonetheless.

"It was a dream, but it doesn't matter, it's just stupid I-"

"It wasn't just a dream."

Rin's voice was not forceful, or imposing, but the resignation and sadness dripping from it prompted Maki to shut up.

Rin exhaled, barely managing to keep a sob down her throat.

She reached for the nearest chair and let herself fall on it, elbows on her knees. She run her hands through her hair, the trembling returning with much more force than before.

She knew Maki was watching her, unsure of what to do. Really, it was better if she kept away from Rin, who wasn't sure she could handle physical contact with her.

"It wasn't just a dream. It was-It was a memory, Maki."

Maki stopped breathing. It was the first time Rin had called her name without honorifics attached to it.

"A-A memory? What do you mean?"

Memory? Of her being with Rin? When? How?

Rin didn't manage to swallow past the lump in her throat and closed her eyes.

"I'll sound crazy. But I don't even care. We met at the beginning of the last century, you were the daughter of a court herbalist and your family was pretty well off, just like now. It was... almost Autumn when you tried to make a wish when you saw a shooting star."

A pause. "I was that shooting star."

"Because stars only fall when they fall in love with the one trying to make a wish..."

Rin's head snapped up at those words uttered in a shaky whisper.

Maki was there, lips parted and eyes wide in shock. She was confused because those were words from her dream. But Rin had said it wasn't a dream.

"I-I think I remember, Rin... you-"

"I love you."

Warm tears were streaming down Rin's face, her eyes full of hope, sadness and resignation.

She'd preserved her love like a rough diamond, hiding it somewhere deep within her heart, until she'd met her again.

It didn't matter if she didn't remember, it didn't matter if they were just friends, it was enough, surely more than she could've asked for.

And now she was remembering.

Maki, a hand on her mouth, started sobbing, flooded by much the same feelings as Rin.

"R-Really?" she gasped, staring at the figure sitting a few feet to her right, so small and fragile in her sadness.

"I've searched for you for so long, I thought I'd lost you forever. How could I not still love you?" she choked out, hands buried in her hair, pulling so hard it hurt.

At that, Maki got up and covered the short distance separating them before kneeling in front of Rin and hugging her.

"I love you too."

They both cried, protected by one another's arms, engulfed in emotions. Relief for having finally said it, regret for not stating it sooner, joy for hearing it said back.

Rin ran her fingers through Maki's red hair, drew the lines of her lilac eyes with her fingertips, caressed her rosy cheeks with the back of her hand and traced the lines of her pale neck with her thumbs.

And Maki let her, because her touch was familiar, in a way that shouldn't have been possible, but was real.

"You are even more beautiful than I remembered. I love you, Maki."

Maki took Rin's hand and placed it on her cheek again, intertwining their fingers and leaning into the warm touch. She closed her eyes before speaking.

"Rin, I can't promise you I'll love you like before... because I need help remembering, but I love you and that won't change. Ever."

Tears started to flow again, lining both's features with light.

Their lips connected, a smile meeting a smile, kissing for the first time as if it was their last.

So sweet was the gesture honey came to mind and as gentle as the touch of a lover should be.

It lit something in Maki, something that turned out to be a memory.

~•••~

Their days passed in a haze.

In silence.

The day Maki’s father got out of the room shaking his head and Andromeda started sobbing came soon enough.

Too soon, perhaps, and Rin was not ready. She was not ready to lose the only person she’d ever loved, she was not ready to lose the only person that made her feel more human than any appearance could.

Everyone had came into the room with sorrowful eyes, maids and butlers alike, some crying their eyes out - namely Andromeda and Sophie -, some disbelieving, some trying to give comfort to others while they could not console themselves.

The last people allowed in the room were Maki’s parents. They seemed so much older than the age they were. Rin guessed that was the effect death had on humans.

She felt an odd kind of connection with them both, she felt eons older too, proven by an illness that was not even hers.

And yet it hurt. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

The tears of Maki’s mother hurt, because she knew she’d been too harsh at times and we only know the value of something when we’re about to lose it.

The broken smile of Maki’s father as he stroked her hair hurt, because he knew he hadn’t been there for her as a father should and we can’t take back the time we have let slip through our fingers.

Maki’s resignation hurt, because she still had her wish.

As much as Rin didn’t want to part, she begged her to express the wish she was granted, to wish for her health to get back, to not die so young, to go on with her life without her.

It was in a whisper that Maki answered her pleas. “I would surely die soon after without you by my side… you have given me so much, Rin, I could never repay you fully.”

For the first time Maki was seeing tears at the corners of Rin’s eyes. What an odd sight.

Taking her pale hands in hers, Rin made one last desperate attempt.

“Just like you say you could not go on without me, I cannot keep existing in a world where you don’t. Don’t leave me waiting for eternity, I’d rather you destroy me. It was my duty from the start, let me fulfill it.”

A bitter laugh, so small it was barely there. “You well know I could never.”

Rin stopped and thought. If Maki’s will to live was linked with her own existence then…

“I don’t want this, trust me, it is the last thing I would like to ask you…” she started, eyes closed, placing a gentle kiss on scarred hands. “You can wish for whatever does not concern your lifespan or health. Anything else, anything else in the world. Just-”

A sob shook her figure and Maki was almost angry at herself for not being able to reach out to her.

“...let me die with you.”

Maki’s silence prompted Rin to go on, despite the lump closing her throat.

“Let us part with the knowledge we did not leave each other behind nor we we survived while the other did not. You have suffered enough and you still have my wish.”

Maki closed her eyes, feeling the last grains of sand fall from her hourglass. Maybe it was better this way and Rin was right. So she thought about something, anything.

She opened her eyes to be met with those deep pools of yellow she so desperately loved. She wanted to drown there and never come back.

She smiled and squeezed Rin’s hand with her own, even though she was now so weak.

“I… Rin, I want one last happy memory, nothing more.”

Rin, now crying, thanked her for everything. She followed instinct.

She leaned forward, cupping Maki’s cheek and looking one last time in the eyes that reminded her so much of home.

Then she kissed her, slowly, caringly, as if she were afraid of breaking her, tasting the iron of blood but also the medical herbs she was so accustomed to.

Maki’s heart beat faster for the very last time, expending all it had in that last fleeting moment, leaving her breathless. Or maybe it had been the kiss.

Rin remained inches away as Maki closed her eyes, with Rin's warmth still lingering on her lips and her body slowly shut down, while her own body turned into nothing.

In the end, fairytales never end in tragedy, right? Sometimes, though, they do.

“Goodbye.”

~•••~

Maki was sobbing uncontrollably, head buried in Rin’s chest and hands gripping her shirt tightly, while Rin tried to swallow the sobs coming up her throat but failed.

Now the memories that had haunted Rin for so long were Maki’s too and there was relief in that, but also regret. She had hurt her so much.

A part of Maki couldn’t believe anything she felt, but the pain and joy and love were so tangible. She had hoped so much for a love she was sure would never happen and now there it was, delivered to her in a definitely unorthodox manner. 

The clock ticked by as they silently rebuild what had been shattered during that Autumn night, licking each other wounds and nestling their thoughts in the warmth of what they had.

Their love was old, older than most things around them, but their friendship was fresh and ready to patch what was eaten away by the cruel fangs of time.

Finally they both stopped crying, not sure if they had really finished their tears.

But just when Rin was going to speak, Maki preceded her.

“I’m not going anywhere. I doesn’t have to end like last time. It won’t.”

Rin didn’t know if she was talking to herself, but the confidence lying behind those words filled her eyes with new tears.

She hugged her tighter, taking in the reality of the moment and the warmth of the girl she loved, kissing her hair and almost smelling medical herbs.

“I promise it won’t.”


End file.
